Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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