I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
