It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.