In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
did you just send me my own nude
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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