Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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