I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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