She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize