Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
