It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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