Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize