is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.