And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.