ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after