why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.