Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says