i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
