i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
