Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
