At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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