your room smells of hookers.
And success
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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