need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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