Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
