At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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