Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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