And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize