I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize