today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
