He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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