Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
