I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
