I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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