If that was your dad, he is hot
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
