If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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