if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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