there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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