Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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