Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize