very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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