Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
