Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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