Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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