Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
