FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize