Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
