I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
