I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
