Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize