So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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