I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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