she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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