I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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