She said her name was "party"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
