you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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