dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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