Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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