somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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