I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
