you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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