I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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