Just fell off a train. Bad.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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