Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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