woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
