Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
