I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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