i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
